Chris Werner

“You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.”  Friedrich Nietzsche

I stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom at the shop...it was past 9 pm, and before I looked...worked, completely worked!

Grease permanently settled in the grooved between my finderprints, sweat on my brow, scrapes and scratches here there and everywhere.  Not to mention, my body completely spent, from a long morning training, starting at 4:30 AM, and then eventually into the shop for a day of multiple bike fittings.

...my reflection...I looked into my eyes, chaos.  Completely spent, and this is the pre-season?  A feeling of self-doubt came over me.  I had trouble getting to my indoor cycling computrainer sessions downtown (these require me to leave at 4:30), much to my coaches, and fellow teammate disapproval.  The holdiays are brutal, particulalry for those like myself who has at least a portion of my income coming from a retail business.  Coaching, bike fittting...training, it's tough to balance...oh yeah...and LIFE!  Let's add that in there!

...but then I walked out onto the floor from the bathroom, and under the glow of the tracked halogen lighting gleamed a beautifully mis-matched collection of bike fittin tools scattered all around the fit-station.

...like a sculptor to clay, bike fitting to me, is art.  Taking someone's body, and moulding it to a bike....the outcome a beuatiful, efficient, aerdynamic position...a joy to watch, regardless of who is on the bike and how expereinced they may be.

From the smoke of the rubble, of the chaos of the day, was revealed this scattered bike fit station, and I was reminded, like a scultor looking at the piece of art they created....next to a studio covered in tools and scraps, materials used and unused...how this came out of that?  It's a beautiful thing.

So I think I might be making a stretch here...but chaos is often something that requires us to just perservere and roll with it...yes, surf that wave of uncertainty even with little direction or hint as to where it might lead to.

For those new to triathlon, particulalry doing thier first Ironman next year....don't overthink right now.  Just get out and lay down base.  That means long slow distance....or, focus on short workouts that are fun (spin classes, etc.).  But don't think you will work to a peak in March...and hold it until you race in August, September, November....it's not possible.  The choas of this time, requires you train to enjoy it...you hwill have plenty of time later to ride that fine line between harmony and burn out! 

Just roll with it...you will pick up all the knowledge you need as you train, you will figure it out!  It's not about that one day, that single day endurance event...it's about now!  And now is chaotic, unpredicatable, and often leaves one thinking: am I doing enough, or anything at all?  Just go with your gut, it will work out...have fun!

And for those like myself, living, training, competeting, wroking, committing everything, to in my case, my passion, endurance sports.  I just need to roll with it.  Like my example with the bike fit station as my art studio, it's only when I have a chance to let the dust settle and collect my thoughts that any thing makes sense.

I just keep my heart in the right place, stick with what I love doing, do it well, learn every single day, immerse myself in my passion, and then see what comes out as the end result...

Blood Lactate Testing?  It's like in the Wizard of Oz, when the Green Curtain is pulled, and it's finally revealed what is behind it all...

Test results from October...with notes from coach...The body's multiple energy systems, from the mitochodrial intra-cellular level (from deep inside the structures of each individual cell) make up a complex engine of sorts reviling the most complex man has designed to power even the most complex of machines.  In fact, it's brilliance, it's efficiency, and it's logic, yes...it's logic, is mind-blowing.

In my case, every 10 weeks or so, I head out to Tiburon, in Marin County, just over the Golden Gate Bridge, North of San Francisco. 

As I have mentioned in previous entries, I am coached by Chris Hauth, a professional Ironman triathlete and 2 x Olympic swimmer.  I am part of his 30 person Advanced Ironman Training Program.  This program is an advanced Iron-distance program focused on developing the elite amateur and top level age-grouper focused on Iron-distance training (I am a very junior member in terms of my development, but I've done not only 6 Ironman over 2 years, including 3 this year alone, but I have had splits that have displayed serious potential in the sub-10 hour range).

Chris is a partner in a larger group, of which my training group is but a piece of, Performance Labs. 

At Pefrormance Labs, in Mill Valley, my "coach's coach," Craig Upton, a former professional Tour cyclist, and a true Aussie in every sense of the term (and it's all positive, trust me!) conducts my blood lactate tests.

My original test results from back in May...again with notes from coach...Although Performance Labs just opened it's new facility in Mill Valley, my last test was conducted in Craig's garage!  Using a computrainer, a laptop, and some very simple medical equipment to get small amounts of blood and get a reading...Craig revealed to me another world to me beyond my Heart Rate training, and cleared a layer of haze that had surrounded my training and ultra-endurance training in general.

I hook my bike up to a computrainer, that can accurately increase tension to my bike's rear wheel.  It then measures the level of tension it is applying as "power out put" in "watts" (just like the light bulb measurement).  It looks at it as if I were pedaling a small power generator...just how many watts am I generating? 

I also have my heart rate being calculated as well.

I get on the bike and start by spinning the pedals with virtully no resistance on my rear wheel and my heart rate relatively flat. 

Every 4 minutes the tention is increased by 10 watts on the bike, my heart rate is noted, and my finger is pricked, from which a tiny sample of blood is collected in what looks like a diabetes blood glucose meter...it is determining how much lactate is present in my blood, and I will let you know what Lactate actually is and (for those scientifically interested or inclined, it's measured in milimoles per liter of blood [mM/L])

This process continues until the tension is so hard on the pedal I can barely maintain turning over the pedals, until failure.

....Craig then disappears for a moment, while I head up to his incredible home perched on the side of a cliff overlooking the bay in Tiburon...and then he returns.

He returns with my numbers.  Charted on an XY axis graph, and with Heart Rate and Power Zone recommendations listed...he then gets into what exactly "all this means."

In essence, the first finger prick, that first drop of blood measured how much lactate, or how much over my aerobic capacity my body was working when just doing something just above rest.

I went from 2 mml to just under 1 mml.  An improvement of over 50%.

The we look at how hard I needed to pedal before:

1) my Heart Rate began to climb

2) my body stopped using it's aerobic system (

The body wants to use the aerobic system, or at least an endurance athlete should want to train it, because it uses fat and oxygen, two fuel sources it has plenty of...but at some point, the body must star to "tax" the anaerobic system...which uses carbohydrates, something we don't store much of, maybe 90 to 120 minutes.   This system is high-octance, it's what sprinters use 100% of, but for endurance athletes, we want our bodies to not need to tax this unless we really need to!

....My deflection point upward improved by 30%...or I could push 30% harder before my body even reacted...

How do we know when it reacts...the straigt lines representing my Heart Rate, and my Blood Lactate accumaulation, start to climb.

The idea is to train the body to be able to push harder and harder with out those lines deflecting upwards...for instance, many professional Ironman triathletes can push 300+ watts easily with little deflection upwards in heart rate or without the slightest accumulation of lactate in the blood.

From these numbers...which are then forwarded on to my coach...he can base my training off zones of heart rate...or zones of power output on the bike (measured with a Power Meter), so at various points in the training cycles throughout the year my training is DIALED IN.  No fluff, no useless miles, no OVER-intensity when I don't need to, and no UNDER-training when I need to be going hard.

I am DIALED IN...we know...at the cellular level...what my body is doing...and I mean we, me, my coach, and the team that helps me at Performance Labs.

It's amazing.  I left dumb-founded, driving down the twisting roads of Tiburon, the mid-afternoon light shimmering off the Pacific waters...

It revealed what was going on inside, it reinforced that I was improving, but that results were still a ways away.  It revealed I still needed to go slower, to move that deflection point further forward...to get faster...go slower to get faster...go slower to get faster!!!

It showed a narrow band of mid-level intensity I should focus certain workouts on that would help my body recruit energy systems more efficiently.

Most importantly...it revealed where I should be racing...despite what I feel, there are numbers now that I KNOW I can hold.  I may not FEEL I can hold...but I know my fitness is such that I can:

When I head out onto the bike...I know I can hold 200 watts for the entirety of the ride.

When I get out on the run...I know I can hold 151 beats per minute on the heart rate the entire run.

When I slow down, or when the numbers "drift" downwards...I need to mentally focus and FORCE them up!!!  It's a mind-over-matter sort of thing, a battle that requires a deep connection between body and mind to accomplish.

...It's just mind-blowing, and I just love this stuff!  Enough for now!

"Every man has his own courage, and is betrayed because he seeks in himself the courage of other persons."  Ralph Waldo Emerson

I spoke to a friend of mine, who qualified for Kona back at Ironman Arizona in April, and competed in Kona this October this afternoon.  He stopped in the shop and we spoke a bit about my race.  It can be difficult to speak to some athletes of this calibre...

There are two types of athletes, those that have achieved and make that the focus of their ego, something to put above others...and then there are guys like this, who are so humble we must remind them that others would kill to merely have the opportunity to shoot for what they have already achieved! Humble that they share in everyone's achievement, it's a rare quality.

Two vastly different personality types on two opposite ends of the spectrum.

...the conversation was brief, we'll meet up to ride later next week with a big group that heads out on Wednesdays...but it got me thinking, what makes there such a vast difference in the spectrum of athletes and their respective ego's?  I think it comes down to the courage to go out and do it for yourself, to race and compete for something a little deeper than "qualifying for Kona" or going sub-whatever on the bike....or winning the whatever-to-whatever age group.

I think there was a certain kinship in the conversation today...two athletes who met simply to talk about racing without judgement...but to share stories about the expereince.

It revealed again, that I am on a journey that is very personal...and I race and have completely immersed myself in this world of ultra-endurance...

• This is my livelehood - I left law school, and previously the trappings of what would have tracked to a comfortable 6-figure job to head out "west" and do this.  I fought long and hard to sail through the storm of doubt surrounding the old adage, 'If you pursue your passion, success will follow."

• This is very much a calling for me.  I don' train and work, and most importantly interact to simply have fun, to me, it's a way to connect with people and I find I somehow...someway...have an ability to do this.  I suppose because I left so much to come out and do this, that I leave all elitism at the door...I have been there, and in the process of getting to where I am, I have gone some very, very dark places...there's a very genuine love I have for what I do, and I suppose it comes across in my work. 

• This is more than just ultra-endurance for me, Ironman, running, cycling, swimming...it's a lifestyle that although extreme and unconventional, encompasses much more than just going through the paces of training, racing, and working in all their varying capacities.  It's leading me somewhere, it's a journey I feel comfortable just following (with ambition and passiona and enthusiasm...but without a timeline set in stone).

When I read the quote I opened with, I thought to myself, how often we look at others and model ourselves after them...and how many people walk around thinking others model themselves off of them...is there any real courage in that?

I suppose it takes real courage to examine what you're really in it for...that's a bit about what I wrote here, and it took a bit of courage to write this...to say take a look at my splits, and I would love nothing more to talk about them till our ears fall off! 

But I'm not doing it for the splits...the times will eventually get better, slowly, steadily, without my ego tagging along for the ride...instead I find myself loving the ride I'm on, tackling challenges, and interacting with people from all over the world, from all levels of achievement, from beginner to professional, helping people...helping myself...and discovering a whole lot I wa blind to for years before emabarking on this crazy walkabout through life!

“A good battle plan that you act on today can be better than a perfect one tomorrow.”
General George S. Patton  (American General in World War I and II, 1885-1945)

Ironman Arizona, Sunday, November 23rd...I returned 4 days ago to race the same course just 8 short months before I was so absolutely crippled by, struggling a finish in the 100+ degree heat and wind of the Sonoran desert...but this time, I returned a different athlete...

...professionally coached, and with a team of athletes whose abilities and achievements surpass me, I arrived armed with a plan to execute and surrounded by the energy of focused confidence and passion I had never experienced before.

I had a plan drawn out for me by my coach, Chris Hauth.  Although we discussed the details regarding my race, the same structure would apply to all 13 of the athletes we had competing from AIMP/Performance Labs. 

Swim - 2.4 miles over 1 loop - water was a bit cold, and the swim start was brutal, and really hard to find clear water.

The swim, take it easy, too easy.  I knew I was undertrained and had not had the volume and intensity I put in for previous Ironman competitions...and although that extra 13 minutes would have made a great impact...for the plan, better to leave what I did have for the bike and run.

190 watts...I know from my most recent blood lactate test at Performance Labs, that I am 30% more fit than in May, after Ironman Arizona I, and before Ironman Lake Placid in July.  I also know that I can push 190 watts of power for 112 miles, and at 5'8" and 148 lbs...as that number improves I'm going to get faster and faster.

I don't have a power meter to race with, so my coach sets up a Heart Rate curve for me to follow.  It will essentially put me at 190 watts for 112 miles (as close as we can get it). 

Bike - 112 Miles over 3 loops - Slight up hill into a slight headwind out, slight downhill with a tailwind back (on each lap)

I take off for lap 1 of the bike, trying to keep my heart rate down, it should not take much of an effort this early on for me to hit my power number of 190 watts, so keep the heart rate down.

I train with 300 calories per hour, and that hits my burn rate right on for the time being, dead on.  I use 3 ounces of gel, and 2 ounces of water in my gel flasks provided to me by Mike at Profile Design (these guys, Mike in particular, have been a huge help to me both in helping me with customers and coaching clients, and as an athlete). 

I take in an extra 50 calories in the first hour, just because the heart rate is low and I can take it.  I wait while a few eager, less experienced competitors take off on the bike...I'll pass them on the 3rd lap and never see them again.  I slowly, ever slowly, begin to let my heart rate creep up...

Lap 2 I continue to push the pace, slowly letting my heart rate creep upwards to my target.  Heading out it's a slight uphill, and the wind kicks up a bit.  It's tough pushing both on the uphill and into the wind, and it takes some knowledge of gearing, cadence, and most importantly...EGO, to hold back and understand that once you hit the target heart rate...that's it, you can't keep pushing faster just for the satisfaction of holding off someone else...or to pass people.

...this is where I discover the beauty of this distance...in no other event I know, and certainly no triathlon of a shorter distance...does the event reveal so much about you ego.  I spent so much of lap 2 staying on my pace.

300 calories an hour, gel flask after gel flask...gel and water...no solids...all day.  Just stay on the plan.  Execute the plan.

Lap 3...I head out on my target heart rate and low-and-behold, what my coach (whose won an Ironman or twoin hisday) told me would happen...I am passing people left and right, despite not feeling remotely taxed....in fact, looking back, I know I was capapble of riding the entire bike a bit faster. 

At the turn around....it hits me, Cardiac Drift sets in, and this is the first time I've ever experienced it like the elite amateurs and professionals I train with describe.  My heart rate begins to fall, despite complete confidence in my ability to hold my pace.

Again, the lessons of Ironman, the fact that I have for the first time experienced a physical effect of ultra-endurance racing that requires mental fortitude alone to overcome.  I know from rigourous testing and training on compu-trainers that I can maintain the power output and pace I have been on.  But with my heart rate drifting down...I have to force my body to push harder to maintain.  It's bizarre, and a challenege that requires a deep sense of confidence in the ability to perform. 

Keep in mind, there is still a 26.2 mile marathon to follow, although for the first time...this could not be farther from my mind...honestly, I was in the moment, pedal stroke after pedal stroke, pushing, trying to maintain...

Run - 26.2 miles over 3 loops, sort of a winding pretzel shape of a course, temperatures mild for Arizona in the mid to high 80's (perfect as far as I was concerned).

After a slow, but thourough transition to the run, I head out onto the course. The plan: same as the bike, start of slow, and gradually push through each lap. 

The first 5 miles are gimme's...free speed, everything firing away, and although I am discovering I am staying focused beyond any expectation based on past performance, I am surprised it feels so comfortable.  I approach the end of the first lap...Chris is there, and as I have heard, when he's in "coach" mode on the course the same intensity he brings to everything else spills over:

"DO NOT LET IT GET TO YOU..."

He looks at me and yells as I approach...and I know distictly what he means....I have it in me, but my body is telling me just to slow down and conserve.  I maintain the pace going into lap 2.

However, soon into lap 2, I slow.  Why?  I am not sure, but then again, I am executing a plan I have only briefly trained with.  I was traumatized to some extent by cramping at this very point in Arizona in April, and with tremendous trouble experienced on the run in Lake Placid... but to drop to the crawling pace I dropped to...I don't know.  It just happened almost without me knowing.

I need to train myself to push through the hurt.

I finally hit lap 3...finally...and I pick up the pace...slowly I find my legs again.. FINALLY I FIND MY LEGS AGAIN...and no cramping, no problems, I quickly pick up the pace.  The last 5 miles I am cruising.  I split a couple of the miles under 7 minutes, felt fine.  I could have broke and hit this pace after the first 5 miles of lap 1!  But it feels great anyway.

I hit the finish line, my parents were there after cheering me to my 6th Ironman finish, and 3rd of 2008....I did it again, but this time, I left with a quiet confidence of having plenty left in the tank...and being met by a team and a coach who not only contratulate me, but can't wait to see what I do in 2009!

It was a great experience.  A race that was well executed.  Conservative.  Not my fastest, but one that required less than average training, and one that left me primed to be really pushed next season.  It was great to see some of my teammates achievements, Kona-qualifiers, and an age group course record broken amongst them.  A coach who was thrilled to see my recent development, and already talking about my season in 09!  Marathon splits under 3:40, in fact, after pacing off someone for a couple miles under 3:30, that's a possibility.

I've got a few Ironman races on the books for next year already locked in (Ironman Lake Placid in July, and I am returning to Arizona next November).

It's exciting and satisfying to see the big picture slowly coming together...

"Many people die with their music still in them.  Why is this so?  Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live.  Before they know it, time runs out."  Oliver Wendell Holmes

...and as Mr. Holmes wisdom suggests, I will do everything I can to leave as little of my music left unsung.

Ironman Arizona in 5 weeks, my 3rd of 2008, and Ironman Malaysia in February, that will make 4 Iron-distance races in a 12 month period, from East to West Coast, from New York to the Pacific Rim...

...yesterday, after a 4000 yard swim, I rode a solo 120 mile ride, a loop through Livermore, and  through Patterson, and then deep through the canyons back...virtually no stoplights and a full 25% of the ride in a straight line, into a headwind.  I stopping 3 times in 7 hours, only once to refuel...thus I spent most of the time turning the pedals, and thoughts blended together, and as my body pushed, I slowly found what I look for in my long solo training...I slowly lost my mind...

...I sometimes pop out, not remembering where one thought began and the other ended, and it's in this strange ethereal state of physical output and psychological departure that I find some peace and understanding, where some clarity develops.

Such uncertain times, I thought.  Economic crises, it's everywhere, in the news, in conversation, everywhere.  Obviously, in leaving the corporate world, law school...and all the material trappings, to pursue a passion, I knew sacrifice was part of the equation, but even with all the passion and enthusiasm as I bring to what I do every day, it's still difficult.  As a multi-sport retailer the business which sustains me has not been left unaffected.  It's obvious in the hesitation of both the customers and the people with whom I work.  Surrounded all day with people extremely passionate about what each does...it still is not enough to insulate us completely from the collective sense of uncertainty felt throughout much of the nation, maybe the world.

But I pedaled away...and I realized how far my life is not connected to any economic crises...the business will survive, my reputation in the industry continues to develop...but my life, actually going out and living, and searching, and training, and racing...that continues. 

For me the journey I am on is not connected financially to anything, nor does the general sentiments of the public, there perceptions or paranoia, intersect my journey...I'm sorting of driving on a road parallel to that, I do catch someone of the runoff, but it really doesn't stop or distract me all that much.